Category Archives: Spirituality

Where can a person go when he doesn’t know where to go? 

Jenny Erpenbeck asks this question of her readers in Go, Went Gone, on a full blank page, repeated again, on another blank page. 

Go, Went, Gone bookcoverGo, Went, Gone is a short novel published in 2015 in Germany, and released in the US in 2017. In it, Erpenbeck tells the story of a group of African refugees protesting at Oranienplatz in Berlin. Richard, a retired, widowed professor, instead of just passing by, starts a conversation with the men in this group. That conversation leads to visits. He learns their names, and befriends Osarobo, Rashid, Ithema, and Karon as they navigate Germany’s cool, seemingly arbitrary and improvised migration system. 

Go, Went, Gone served as a mirror of sorts for me as I do intermittent volunteer work with the New Sanctuary Coalition, (NSC) an NYC based group that ensures that people are present for migrants while they work their way through the US legal system in the hope of continuing their lives here. 

While the lobby of the Ted Weiss Federal building has all of the heavy marble majesty of an early 21st century federal office building, a quick elevator ride leaves visitors in a white antiseptic corridor where schedules for judges with lists of names printed on orange paper line the walls. 

Migrants wait in a room with low ceilings, fluorescent lighting, and immovable chairs. That day, I helped Andi, a minor, update his change of address paperwork, an essential bureaucratic requirement. I waited and watched a judge grant him a court date far in the future so that he could have legal counsel. We had sharpies on hand so that he could write the phone number of a relative on his arm in case his phone was confiscated.  Later that same day, just outside the courthouse, ICE agents placed him in detention. 

The book’s protagonist, Richard, did much more than show up at a court hearing for the migrants he befriended. He visits them in their temporary housing. He learns their stories, about their countries and how they became separated from their families. 

In one scene, Richard takes Itehema to see a lawyer who traces modern German migration law back to Tacitus of Rome. 

“It is accounted to a sin to turn any man away from your door. The host welcomes his guest with the best meal that his means allow. When he is finished entertaining him, the host undertakes a fresh role: he accompanies the guest to the nearest house where further hospitality can be had. It makes no difference that they come uninvited; they are welcome just as warmly. No distinction is ever made between acquaintance and stranger.” 

Erpenbeck challenges us: “[M]ust living in peace – so fervently wished for throughout human history  result in refusing to share it with those seeking refuge, defending it instead, so aggressively that it almost looks like a war?”

Go, Went, Gone, is a fictionalized retelling of how the actions of an individual transform and lift up the lives of others. New Sanctuary Volunteers do that work today in New York City. 

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr. 

We cannot be silent in this moment. We can show up. Here’s how: 

https://www.newsanctuarynsc.org/get-involved

Get a copy of the book: https://bookshop.org/p/books/go-went-gone-jenny-erpenbeck/12418234  

sketch of seating at a Quaker Meeting

Why am I a Quaker?

Start with why. That’s the wisdom of Simon Sinek–asking people to sharpen their thinking but his question makes me wonder if he might be a Friend. 

Almost 25 years ago, young and fresh to New York City, I had the good fortune to meet Scott–an attender from Brooklyn Monthly Meeting. After my umpteenth question, and many patient answers, Scott just said, “you know, why don’t you come to meeting sometime?” His  casual invitation changed my life. 

Why? 

I was seeking–a place to fit in, a place to be myself, a place to connect with others. I found it.

Why? 

Well, the idea of “that of God in everyone” seemed right. The stern Catholic tradition of my youth framed it differently. We are all made in God’s image. We have fallen. If we are good, we’ll get into heaven and live forever. The Friendly framing spoke to me–a spark of the divine in me? In everyone? Well, what an animating and useful principle. It spoke, and speaks, to my heart and mind.  

Why? 

Because if we believe that there’s something of the divine in everyone then I am on equal footing with you.  Another pithy message from Bono–another latent friend?  “We are one, but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other.” 

Why? 

We believe in “continuing revelation,” in other words, we favor questions over answers–and the answers that we find are provisional, until we find better answers–together. Not one text. All texts. All people. All voices. 

Why? 

Because we seek in silence–and everyone can be a source of truth–a messenger. We just have to be still and listen. Being still is not easy in today’s modern world of digital tethers, where distractions are a screen away. A Quaker meeting dedicates a time and place for us to sit, and listen–for our own inner voice, and for a message from a friend that might speak to us. 

Why? 

Because I am wary of promises of the next world. I am certain that this one needs our attention–in a way that is consistent with us being  stewards for the generations that will follow us. 

Why? 

Because the problems are bigger than us, but solvable by us. Together we can figure it out. 

Why? 

Because I think that if we all treated one another as though there were something of the divine, then  we’d listen more–we’d care more. This is also a wish for me–I am seeking, and need reminders. 

Why? 

Because I am inspired by what our beliefs have led us to do–whether it was an early renunciation of slavery, or providing relief to those harmed by war–regardless of what side they were on. Because there’s still a vast gap between what we believe and what exists. The Jacksonville shootings of three Black people are a reminder that white supremacy is alive and well. 

Why? 

Because together, Friends, we can work to close that gap, to love one another and build a stronger community. 

Are you a friend? Thinking about it? Why? 

I’m listening. 

Ted Bongiovanni is a member of Brooklyn Monthly Meeting and the Executive Directory of the New York Quarterly Meeting.  This post originally appeared on Spark, the newsletter of the New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends.